Forgiveness among women | A lesson to be gleaned from “The Handmaid’s Tale”

As the world ardently tuned in to “The Testaments” on Hulu last week, I of course joined and couldn’t help but binge all three of the release episodes back-to-back-to-back (the collapse of a society that has lost its absolute sh*t is a fascinating topic, isn’t it?). Seeing June Osborne’s character appear on screen was unexpected but satisfying, and naturally it made me think back to “The Handmaid’s Tale” and where her story left off. There is so much that can be said (and has been said) about the parallels between our present world and the dystopian Gilead – and so many women who can personally relate to the struggles and traumas portrayed. But what I took away from the former series -- and from June’s story in particular -- was the powerful moment that she forgave Serena Joy.

Forgiveness in Christian esoterica 

Forgiveness is woven into almost every spiritual mystery and religion. Let’s look at the example found in Christianity. Most Christians recognize the words Jesus spoke in Luke 23:34: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” He said this about the people who committed the ultimate betrayal against him – the betrayal that led to his death. And in some accounts of the crucifixion, his suffering ended, his body collapsed, and his soul departed the moment he spoke. 

Christian esoterica reveals that Jesus achieved a level of forgiveness that ultimately set him free; thus, he was resurrected into a higher form. He attained this through the alchemical transformation that takes place inside the human heart. Alchemy – the literal term for turning lesser metals into gold – when applied to the human being, is about turning lesser emotions (pain, trauma, grief) into wisdom.

But wait…there’s one more important piece to the story. Because while we know that Jesus (a male) achieved the level of forgiveness that led to internal alchemy, it’s pertinent to note that he inherited that capacity for forgiveness (i.e. “the immaculate heart”) from his mother, Mary. Because the journey to the purified heart by way of forgiveness is intrinsically feminine. 

Forgiveness in other cultures

In Hawaii, natives have a prayer and invocation for forgiveness: Ho’oponopono.  The prayer translates to: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you,” and it is used to bring balance and equilibrium to oneself, personal relationships, and families.

Other groups throughout modern culture practice forgiveness collectively and reportedly see it as a means of healing and transcendence. Examples include the Amish community of Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania, who in 2006 grieved a tragic school shooting, forgave the killer, and showed support for his family; and the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe of North Dakota, which gathered for a “Forgiveness Walk” in 2016 to overcome violence and clashes with law enforcement during the construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline. The walk was reportedly organized by the tribe’s elder women.

When writing a reflection on the Forgiveness Walk, journalist and Sicangu Lakota Nation member Vi Wan said it best: 

“It really doesn’t matter if the person you are working to forgive is apologetic about the wrongs they might have committed. The ability to forgive is a gift you bestow upon yourself.”

What forgiveness can mean for us

My wish for each of us women living through these times in which the lines between tv drama and reality appear to be blurred is that we can sense the pull from within our own hearts – the ancient part of us that knows that releasing resentment is what stands to set us free. Sure, it’s easier said than done, and forgiveness is definitely a life-long pursuit. But if June can do it, then we should be able to, too…right? At the end of the day, we’re women – which means we can hold both grace and ferocity. We can seek to be pure-hearted, but also badass. We can forgive whomever we perceive our victimizers to be, whilst we stand firm in our commitment: “Notile te bastardes carborundurum” (don’t let the bastards grind you down).

Big love,

--Sam